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There
is definitely a chill on the horizon and it’s finally starting to feel
like fall here in South Alabama. Bow season opens tomorrow and we know
that’s just a hop, skip and a jump away from gun season for deer and
sometimes that’s all that keeps us going in the hot months of July and
August, the fair months of May and June and the so-so months of
September and February and part of March.
If
you’ve counted the months I just mentioned you will discover (assuming
I haven’t left any out) the most miserable time is any month it’s
not hunting season. At my age, the eve of hunting season is as exciting
as Christmas Eve was when I was a child except now, I don’t have to
deal with the whole Santa Claus issue, unless he has a big trophy
whitetail hitched to his sleigh and then….. well, never mind.
Hopefully
you hunters out there will be taking your children to the woods, some of
you for the first time.
Having
introduced my daughter at the tender age of 5 to deer hunting, I’ve
learned a lot about taking children to the woods with you on a hunting
trip. I am sure many of these tips and advice you’ve heard before, but
I hope to have a few that maybe you haven’t.
Rule
Number 1 – Take
plenty of snacks that are low in sugar. A child in a shooting house is
active enough; don’t pour gasoline on the fire and feed them a lot of
sugar.
Rule
Number 2 – For
those of you with daughters, get mom to help out with some pre-season
training, because, as my daughter knows, if you can’t potty in the
woods, then you can’t go hunting.
Rule
Number 3 – Take
along plenty of paper, pencils and crayons.
Rule
Number 4 –
(Pre-season) Work on whispering skills.
Rule
Number 5 – Get
it out of your head the backpack you take for the snacks, art supplies
and books will be camo. If you start training early, you can make it to
where your children think all backpacks come in camo, otherwise, learn
to live with Sponge Bob.
Rule
Number 6 – As
soon as possible, teach your children to read; not only will the school
system thank you, but also you won’t have to haul art supplies with
you to the woods.
Rule
Number 7 – Work
on whispering skills some more.
Rule
Number 8 – Give
up on getting that once in a lifetime buck when your kids are with you, it
just ain’t gonna happen and if it does, the poor old buck was
probably fixing to lay down in front of you and die anyway. Anything
that deaf, blind and senile to come into a food plot with a frustrated
hunter and their small child, has one foot in the grave and another on a
banana peel anyway. So if it happens, there’s probably something wrong
with the deer.
Rule
Number 9 –
Spending time in the woods with your children is a whole lot better than
killing a once in a lifetime buck anyway.
Rule
Number 10 – If
you go to New York City two or three days after your child kills their
first deer, after you leave Atlanta, people won’t be too impressed. (I
learned that one the hard way.)
Rule
Number 11 –
(Seriously now!) When your child is old enough to shoot their first
deer, consider a muzzleloader. My daughter cringes at the idea of
shooting her .410 shotgun, but she considers my .45 cal. muzzleloader
her own personal deer rifle.
Rule
Number 12 –
Bambi is a make-believe story, deer can’t think, talk or have friends.
We are at the top of the food chain, get used to it.
Rule
number 13 –
Talk your spouse into having several children; that way when you buy
camo clothing for the first one, you are set for several years as they
outgrow it during the hunting season. You’ll only have to buy a
complete set for the first one, the next ten or twelve kids will be able
to wear the hand-me-downs. When you think about the fact that camo is
only used about 3 months of the year, it could last until you have
grandkids and then you’ll be doing your children a favor by saving
them money. (What a good Dad!) Hint
on rule 13, it will take a lot of convincing of your spouse; use
diamonds and candy.
Rule
Number 14 –
Teach your child the following- What happens at the hunting camp, stays
at the hunting camp. What mamma doesn’t know won’t hurt her. This is
in regard to the use of deodorant, toothbrushes and changing your
underwear.
Rule
Number 15 –
Remember that children never learn rule 14.
I
hope you have a happy, fun and SAFE hunting season this year and
remember rule number 9.
Ralph
Ricks is the manager of Quality Cooperative, Inc. in Greenville. |
