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I
am raising the perfect wife. Someday some young man is going to be very
grateful to me or he is going to be very mad – only time will tell.
Just
what am I talking about you may ask? I am talking about my daughter and
the things we do together. She is ten years old and is my A-number one
hunting partner. She has learned to sit for several hours on a deer
stand without complaining; she is able to forgo the finer things in
life, such as a toilet, in order to go hunting. She loves eating
"hunting food," which is anything that comes in a can and can
be eaten without cooking. Before she graduates high school she will be
able to kill, clean and cook a deer. She and I watch all of the popular
hunting shows and she appreciates a well-made shot whether it’s on a
trophy buck or a management doe.
This
young man that is in her future, she has already informed me, will be a
deer hunter or he will hit the road. As I said, he will either be
eternally grateful or he will despise me. He will be grateful because he
will be allowed to go hunting as much as he wants, as long as he takes
her with him. Even when she is unable or unwilling to go, he will still
be appreciative because she will understand why he wants to go and, yes,
he still loves her even though he is at hunting camp and she is at work.
She will be able to enjoy the outdoors with him and they will be able to
spend more time together. With some young men this might also cause some
grief, at least I hope so.
The
whole point of this rambling is to try to encourage everyone to take a
child hunting when you go. My brother and I went hunting with my dad
almost from the time we could walk. Of course, dad had his motives as
well. Dad was a bird hunter and living in Wyoming for ten years gave him
the opportunity to go pheasant hunting. Sometimes I think the only
reason dad took us was because he couldn’t afford a bird dog. When you
are pheasant hunting you have to put your boots into every single clump
of anything around. Out west they have tumbleweeds and these weeds roll
along in the wind until they are stopped by something, usually a fence.
They pile up and become perfect pheasant cover. Dad would say, "Go
on in there, boy and kick out a rooster."
And
in I would go. I would hear the cackle of a male ringneck pheasant as he
took to the air, hear the shot and finally emerge from the pile of
tumbleweeds only to have dad tell me he missed. I am sure the look I
gave him was the same look my lab would give me when I missed a dove.
Among
my memories is the time we saw a Gold Eagle eating something and dad
just had to find out what it was. Once again the old bird dog, me, was
sent in to investigate. The eagle was dining on pheasant and he/she gave
me quite a battle for the remains. It was worth it though because
although the only thing left was some gristle and the legs, one of its
feet was wearing a wildlife band and we called it in to the Wyoming Fish
and Game Department.
When
you take a child hunting, you will create memories that will last a
lifetime. To this very day the smell of a bologna sandwich takes me back
to cutthroat trout, beaver ponds and drinking water straight from the
stream with my dad. I hope that someday when my daughter eats chocolate
pudding, the smell and taste takes her back to the Conecuh County deer
woods where we had to make a spoon from a tree limb so she could eat her
snack on a deer hunt.
Remember
though, when you take a small child hunting there are a few things you
will have to accept as inevitable. As a matter of fact, plan on the
following:
•
You will be late.
•
You will probably not kill any deer.
•
You certainly will not kill a trophy
•
You will always overestimate bladder size.
•
You will answer a million questions.
•
You will not have a quiet hunt.
•
If you do manage to take a deer, you will be the greatest hunter in the
world.
•
Be prepared for an anatomy lesson if you have to clean a deer.
•
You will never find the best spot for a bathroom.
•
When you hear the words, "I want my mama," give up and go
home.
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