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"Why
didn’t you go?" I asked him.
"Oh,"
he said, "the relationship didn’t work out. I got a job and she
went back to her husband."
Contemplating
his idea, it occurred to me that there might be lots of folks out there
like Michael whose dream is not to go to a dude ranch but to drive a
tractor. Why not start a dude farm! The most popular show on RFDTV is
Classic Tractors. I would venture there are plenty of fans who’ve never
plowed a furrow! They’d be an ideal market.
Think
of it! A chance to grade a driveway, pull a honey wagon, make mounds in
the feedlot! They’d leap at the chance! Farmers could advertise their
dude farms in the paper; "Pick yer own fruit! Learn to clean elevator
buckets, de-tassel seed corn, run to town for parts! Try the exotic
midwinter North Dakota Wheatgrowers tour. Shovel snow, tinker in the shop,
go to town for coffee at 8 and 3!’
Or
the scenic Arkansas chicken house extravaganza. Take part in a barn
cleaning. Fix bent water pipes and fences and ventilation systems! And
learn to tell a raccoon (striped tail and mask) from a possum (a hairless
tail and about half an inch thick on the highway).
And
the epitome of trips…the Texas to north Idaho or Bust Wheat Harvest!
Drive
a 20-year old grain truck to the elevator from dawn til dusk for two
months! Eat dust, bologna and Kentucky Fried! Sleep in a camp trailer!
Sounds
exciting. We in agriculture are always looking to diversify. If you’ve
tried comfrey, ostriches or your own roadside stand selling homegrown
soybean cakes, give dude farming a look.
According
to Michael, Tracto Therapy could be the best lucrative opportunity for
farmers since that Georgia pecan grower advertised duck hunting on his
place. He charged $10.00 a duck and called it ‘Quackto Therapy.’ He’d
give you the tail feathers with the bill.
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