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What the breeder knew that the owners didn’t is that it is possible to show a dog too much love. My tough-minded friend was in the business of raising pups for sale or show and wasn’t about to take grief from them. If they tried to get their own way, she would insist they first obey a command, or would ignore them until she was good and ready to respond. Doting new owners, though, would immediately and unconditionally respond to their pup’s demands.

Such heart-on-sleeve affection is perceived as a sign of weakness in the dog’s world. Certain strong-minded pups take advantage of compliant owners, edging above them in the pack order. At the first sign of pushiness, owners should set limits of acceptable behavior and stick to them.

It’s a similar story with fears. Though some dogs are fearful by nature and others by nurture. One dog with thunderstorm phobia sat shaking next to its doting owner at the sound of a thunderstorm recording being played in a behavior clinic. When the owner left the room and the recording was replayed, the dog sat stoically, seemingly unaffected.

This is not to say that storm-phobic dogs cannot panic in their owner’s absence. However, the bottom line: obvious sympathy from a loving owner can sometimes make things a lot worse. It’s proper direction these dogs need, not sympathy.

Separation anxiety is another controllable condition. The seeds of separation anxiety, which affects some 12 million of the nation’s 80 million dogs, are sown early on.

I always tell owners of dogs with separation anxiety to chill: Teach independence, not codependence. Make leaving a fun time by feeding him and putting out tasty treats and toys as you leave. Keep greetings low key. I call the strategy "distancing."

I am not saying that dog owners shouldn’t love their dogs—of course they should. But good dog owners are like good parents; they enjoy the good times with their charge but know how and when to set limits of acceptable behavior.