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There was a very serious and stern tone in Slim’s voice as the locals begin to gather this morning down at The Flat Rock General Store. As he moved from behind the counter, he started out talking about modernizing ‘The Store’ and announced that beginning on April 1 of the current year of 2005 there would be a whole bunch of changes taking place at ‘The Store.’
He started by pulling out a banana box filled with old fashion ticket books. “There’s probably fifty thousand dollars worth of past due charge accounts in this box. Most of the folks in here built credit for a while then left me high and dry. They hadn’t even been back to spend their cash money with me here at The Store. Lots of ’em pass this way everyday but choose to drive miles out of their way to trade other places after building a charge ticket and sticking me with it. So they have ruined it for everybody; beginning the first there is no more charge tickets for any of ya’ll, period. From now on it is cash or credit cards, maybe a few checks from the true regulars.
“Then I’m doing away with the paper polk and pencil for addition or ciphering and the single cash drawer for sortin and storing money. Beginning the first there will be a computer for tallying and keeping records and a safety lock cash register for money and the receipt tape storage. I have been a studying the system and feel that I can handle this system with some slight help from Ms. Ida.
“Additionally, beginning the first of the month the gas pumps will be going on a pay first or credit card use only. I feel that it is just a necessary need with the current gas situation.
“There won’t be no more wax wrapped hoop cheese rings for fresh cutting. It’ll all come vacuum wrapped in blocks straight from the factory; and because of loss, there want be any more fresh souse meat or sausage. It’ll all be froze. Because of a safety factor we’re also gonna do away with the little glass Coca-Cola in bottles.
“Nextly we’re going to seal up the windows and doors, install an air conditioner then take out the old pot-bellied heater and install a vent free gas heater, hopefully for better interior comfort. Since the heater is gone, we’re cutting out muddy boots and smokeless dippin’. We got rid of smokin’. I’m sure we can ease out of
dippin’ too.
“Lastly there’s also going to be some other modernizing, cause of some pick pocketing of store stuff (people walking out without paying). I’m going to have one of them merchandizing scanner machines put in across the double entrance doors.”
Slim finished his modernization of The Flat Rock General Store update presentation to the group of mostly confused or dumbfounded listeners then he eased back into his old recliner behind The Store counter. Almost immediately he smiled rather largely and with an ‘I got you’ look he then yelled,
“APRIL FOOLS!!! As long as I am the proprietor/owner of The Store, it will remain as it is and has been, hopefully for many years to come. The traditions will always be the same and everyone will always welcome down at The Store.”
THE FLAT ROCK GENERAL STORE!!! FEW EXIST LIKE THIS ANYMORE!!! REMEMBER, STAY SHARP ON APRIL 1ST OR SOMEBODY WILL GET YOU LIKE SLIM.
REMEMBER YOUR HERITAGE!!!
ALWAYS THINK GOOD
MEMORIES!!!
JOE
Joe
Potter is a former vocational agriculture teacher, FFA advisor,
retired county agent (Colbert County) for Auburn University and
is currently regional sales manager for the Wax Company of Amory,
Mississippi. Additionally, he is still involved in C.C. Potter family
farm at Flat Rock, the farm where he grew up. He is also a
humorist, poet, speaker, writer and a true Southern farm boy/ag
man. His book, Farm Fresh Memories, is available for
$15.00 plus shipping, order by phone at 256-332-0676 or email joepotter50@msn.com.
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