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Like
most folks living around us, we had a black and white TV. Though it was
never moved, ours sat on a metal cart with wheels that had a wire
magazine rack under it. Because we had a black and white TV, I never
knew what color Mr. Ed (the talking horse) was or that Herman Munster
was green. I’d seen Dorothy fly in from Kansas and smash the Wicked
Witch of the East at least ten times and never knew her world turned to
color. Her slippers had always been ruby, dark gray to me.
Evening
television viewing was pretty routine stuff at our house. After supper I
automatically pulled the little round knob to the bottom left of the
larger channel selector knob. Another knob the same size as the power
knob lay to the bottom right of the channel selector. It controlled the
brightness and darkness of the picture tube. Under that, below the
speaker, was a pair of flat roller wheels about the size of quarters.
These aided in the contour and vertical control. Three knobs and two
rollers. A very simple machine, compared to the dozens of buttons on
today’s remote controls. Speaking of which… when I was coming up, I
WAS the remote control!
Like
I said, I’d first turn the TV on. Then I’d lay down in front of the
set in a prone position or on my side and wait on commands. Never mind
that most mothers warned about ruining your eyes by getting too close. I’d
turn the channels and brightness was determined by how much light was
coming through the windows. If the weather had been rough, my job might
even mean going outside and turning the antenna that loomed above the
house on a metal pole. If a show was on that I didn’t watch, like
Lawrence Welk, I kept my position but ignored the TV and played
solitaire. That is, until Joe Feeney or Norman Zimmer appeared and I had
to turn the volume off. I have a catch in my left hip, to this day, that
I attribute to that hard floor, Ed Sullivan, The Fugitive and Matt
Dillon.
We
could tune in to an affiliate station from NBC, ABC and CBS. That was
it. I remember in the early 70s being so excited when we got word that
there was going to be a fourth station called the Public Broadcasting
System (PBS) or Public Television. We had to go to town and buy a little
round, wire antenna to fit on the never before used "UHF"
screws on the back of the set.
Cosmos,
with host, Carl Sagan, was there. Carl was a very smart man who knew
words nobody had ever heard before but couldn’t pronounce the letter
"h"…to Carl we were "uman" beings living in the
northern "emisphere" and getting places at "ypersonic"
speeds. We’d never seen anything like his show. He took us all over
our planet and into the outer stretches of the universe.
Then
there were the British comedies on PBS like Benny Hill, Monty Python’s
Flying Circus or Are You Being Served?. They needed subtitles
for somebody like me to understand, but I got most of it. And, let’s
not forget that Jim Henson started his career on public television with
his Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog.
Not
all television was positive, though. We were constantly bombarded with
well made commercials showing happy people participating in healthy, fun
activities…pushing cigarettes. Some folks said they’d "walk a
mile" for one, some would "rather fight than switch" from
their brand, they said "they tasted good, like a cigarette
should," they invited you to "come to where the flavor
is" or they reminded you that you’d "come a long way,
baby." Stars like John Wayne smoked on television, Dan Rowan from Rowan
and Martin’s Laugh In never put one out, Desi Arnaz looked like a
freight train when Lucy was getting on his nerves and Andy Griffith
smoked on the front porch in front of Aunt Bea and Opie! Fred Flintstone
and Barney Rubble even smoked early in their careers. Thank goodness,
the last cigarette commercial was broadcast on Johnny Carson’s Tonight
Show in 1971.
A
lot of young people won’t believe this but I not only was there when
music television played music, I remember when all television stations
went off the air at around midnight! After Johnny and Ed or a late night
movie, in would come the National Anthem with footage of the different
branches of our national defense flying in formation, cruising in
battleships or saluting as a superimposed U.S. flag flutters in the
background. Next came the TV test pattern that looked like a cross
between a dart board and a radar screen, accompanied by an annoying
humming sound. Then, only static.
I
gotta go. The Wheel’s coming on.
Disclaimer: The story you just read is based on reality. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Any likeness any character in this story has to you, your family or anybody you know or have known is completely coincidental.
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